Every Breath You Take; Day One of 40 Miles in 48 Hours

When I was in my teens, my mom was an ultra-marathon runner. She ran 30-plus mile trail races and paced for people who did the Western States 100. She got up at five in the morning every day and ran ten miles on dark country roads before I even woke-up.

My mom, back when you had to develop photos!

A "good time" for her was going out into the hills to run all day long with a group of girlfriends, mountain lions be damned. I watched those strong women return with salt crusted to their brows, a muddled white line drying on the backs of their shirts, at the scoop of their necklines. Their calves were dusted brown, and when they took off their socks the line left at their ankles was as precise as an architect's pencil mark. They organized benefit fun runs, trained for 50-milers together, and laughed over post-run coffee and apple fritters. My mom ran 20-mile sections of the Western States trails at night to guide exhausted (and often delirious) competitors towards the finish line.

This was before Gu packets, Camelbaks, and specialized electrolyte replacement tablets. Your options were Lemon-Lime Gatorade and oranges. I remember when a small, start-up company named "PowerBar" asked if they could put their product in the goodie bags of the fun run she was organizing.

I watched her go for those long runs and thought she was nuts. Running for fun? I could not wrap my brain around it. I preferred soccer and basketball, writing and swimming.

At some point, for kicks I hopped on the stationary bike she had bought for cross-training purposes. I started setting goals for myself about how long I could stay on the bike. I didn't always love it, but I liked how it made me feel: strong and capable, and I found I liked the challenge. Soon I started running with my mom, and then on my own.

When my mom dropped me off at the starting line for my first marathon, she had tears in her eyes. I don't remember seeing her cry when I graduated from New York University, but she cried when I opened that sedan door in the predawn dark to run 26.2 miles by myself. Years later I asked her why she cried that morning. "I just knew the challenges you were about to face and I wanted to make them easier," she replied.

And herein lies the blessing (and sometimes curse) of parenting... your kids are always watching you. You are always teaching a lesson through your actions (and you thought "Every Breath You Take" was about former lovers). So what my mom couldn't see that morning was that she already had made it easier. I wasn't going out on my own that morning, I was running with a tool box in my back pocket of all the things I saw those ladies exemplify: that it isn't about how you look, or how fast you are, or what anyone else says about you. You run for meditation, you run for camaraderie, you run for the sheer joy of pushing yourself past self-imposed limits.

I saw them feel uncomfortable... and keep going.

I saw them want to stop... and keep going.

I saw them treat their goals with respect, their desires with importance.

And that's why, standing at the dusty start line to this fundraiser run, I knew there was no chance I wasn't going to make it to mile 40. I would endure, just like my mom.

I still smell good in this photo.

We started out late in the day because we wanted to watch our son's first soccer game of the season (this year-long challenge IS still about being a good mom while reaching for goals, after all). The temperature was set to reach 101-degrees that day. I didn't get to start running until 3:30. I sweat so much that it puddled in my ear canal, making my breath and words reverberate in my head as if I had been swimming for hours.

The first part of the trail is high and curves around promontories of igneous rock. The heat emanates from the plutons in thick waves. At one of the springs along the trail, handfuls of butterflies congregated in the cooler air, fluttering around me when I stopped to watch them.

Somewhere around mile nine, my abdomen started to cramp (damn you, Lady Time!). I am not a woman who gets cramps. But there they were, a little sinister snicker in my gut. I had to stop a few times, bent over in pain. Another challenge within the challenge.

I ended up making it to camp before Sky (he was rowing the support boat on the river while I ran the trail). I jumped into the river and stretched my limbs as tiny fish nibbled my toes.

Nature's laundromat

I don't think I've ever wanted a cold beverage more in my life. The liter of ice-cold sparkling water was unbelievably perfect. I drank the whole thing in about ten minutes.

13.2 miles done.

First day section complete.


P.S. As of this writing, we only need $400 more to be able to build the 6th grade classroom at Buiga Sunrise. Add your brick to the building!
https://www.crowdrise.com/40milesin48hoursforeducation/fundraiser/amystewart1